Helios' eyes
I do not look in your eyes.
Oh I fear them, Indeed I fear them.
Their blueness of the seas
their whiteness of the waves
into their floods I go
my mind disolving floods.
They rage.
And then:
Behind the ocean mirror
the deep glowing of their fire
which is a greek, a demon flame
a fire from where the fire came.
Greedy hands of heat
they touch my
ice fevered chest
my stone stoic heart
that beats, beats, beats.
I waver, bend, knee
lost in the simmering sea
the whole blank
existing
me.
I do not look in your eyes.
Oh I fear them, indeed I fear them.
Oh I fear them, Indeed I fear them.
Their blueness of the seas
their whiteness of the waves
into their floods I go
my mind disolving floods.
They rage.
And then:
Behind the ocean mirror
the deep glowing of their fire
which is a greek, a demon flame
a fire from where the fire came.
Greedy hands of heat
they touch my
ice fevered chest
my stone stoic heart
that beats, beats, beats.
I waver, bend, knee
lost in the simmering sea
the whole blank
existing
me.
I do not look in your eyes.
Oh I fear them, indeed I fear them.
chaosmaedchen - 30. Juli, 16:06
me. (Gast) - 1. August, 23:00
I love it. I simply do. - you seem to arrange the words without the slightest effort. sounds soft and harsh at the same time... - ich bin sprachlos. Indeed, I am.
chaosmaedchen - 2. August, 03:42
WEE! That's really thrilling me, cause I truly have no idea if it's any good, i am not that much of an english crack but i think english is the language of poetry so i have to try it. :D
in meinem naiven verständnis von sprache, vor allem: englischer sprache, ließe sich jetzt hiermit sagen, es sei richtig geworden, sei in sich stimmiger, bündiger. in strophe 4, vers 2, da hätte ich geschmackssorte "and I knee" gewählt, zugegeben, aber das ist weder kritik noch anmerkung, sondern einfach nur so ein sprachliches ding, das muss man nicht beachten. jetzt hat das gedicht eine seele, something haunting, you know? das ist es.
Deshalb geb ich da jetzt trotzdem viel drauf und sage mal so: thanks, mister. i quite think there are one or two little words and pictures that are primarily well known and therefore shitty and secondarily a wee pathetic ;P
like stone stoic heart you know, but i liked the sound though, which made it stay.
dunno, maybe i will pick it up and make it longer and less pathetic and make it also less say what it quite obviously means.